Illegal Thoughts
by Hannah0707
Summary: Mr. Joker, otherwise known as Mr. J, for the sake of sounding professional, becomes Harleen's new Human Anatomy teaching. Which could lead to a huge distraction for her as she finds her new teacher to be completely and utterly sexy.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Harley, the Joker, or the comics.

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Harleen [Harley] Quinzel

In a rush and out of breath, I arrive into my first period with two minutes left to spare. Looking around, there was barely anyone in the class. Which was surprising since we were scheduled to have a new teacher.

"Alright, I guess we will just have to start." The new teacher claimed as he walked into the class, brief case in hand.

He looked more like a business man than a teacher. He wore a dark red button up shirt and black slacks. His dark brown hair was slicked back and a tattoo peeked out at us from the collar of his shirt. I was curious as to what he would look like, from what I could tell from just staring at his broad back, he worked out. But for some reason it left me dying for more.

"Shall we start," He said, still not turning around. "My name is Heath Joker, but you all may call me Mr. J, just for the sake of making me seem more professional." He claimed, lightness flowing from his voice like a melody. After writing his name on the board he finally turned around.

He had bright blue eyes, a firm jaw, and a small 'J' tattoo under his left eye. Just looking at him I could feel my face turning a bright red. But what had really gotten me was his voice. The way it had flowed out of his soft looking lips and sounded deep and firm with every word he uttered, it left me wanting even more.

"Now I know Human Anatomy is not something many of you would be particularly interested in the subject, but I'm hoping I can liven it up a bit this year." He claimed, clasping his hands together as a small smile broke along his lips.

The sight left me smiling, his smile was beautiful, yet again, leaving me wanting more as a smile formed along my lips. I couldn't help but want to continue smiling, at least, as long as he kept smiling. His eyes fell into line with mine and I felt my heart skip a little, I squirmed at the feeling as he began to laugh.

"Seems like someone is already laughing at me," He joked, walking up to me. Making me squirm even more in my seat as he planted both his hands on my desk, leaning down slightly. It gave me a small view of his chest, it also had some tattoos peeking through. But the only one I could make out was a hat, one that looked like only a joker would wear.

"Whats your name?" He murmured gently. Gazing down at me as I looked blankly into his eyes. This continued for several minutes before he raised his eyebrows and asked the question again. My face got even redder as I heard a couple of students give out muffled laughs.

"H-Harleen Quinzel." I mumbled, looking down at my desk. Glancing up only once, finding a sparkle in his eyes and a grin on his face.

"So like Harlequin." He claimed, pausing for a second. He looked like he was thinking about something before he exclaimed, "Thats it! Your nickname in my class will be Harley Quinn."

My face got hotter and hotter with each second that passed, he stared directly at me with a grin that no one would have been able to say no to. He looked as though he was waiting for my reply, for a smile, maybe even some kind of laugh. But I couldn't bring myself to do any of that, I just continued staring down at my desk, trying not to act like I was back in middle school and just formed a new crush.

A period of awkwardness passed between us and he finally spoke up to relieve some of the tension, "What? Don't like nicknames?" He asked innocently.

It was true, nicknames were not something I was particularly fond of. Well, not after being called braceface all throughout elementary school. But if it was him, maybe I could stand it for just this year.

"N-no, it's fine. I've just never had such a unique nickname." I stuttered slightly, becoming suddenly nervous.

But he wiped all my doubts away as he said, "Awe, that's cute. We're just gonna have to make more unique ones for you." He claimed, looking towards the few faces in the class for approval.

"What would be my nickname?" A girl asked.

"Alright, whats your name?" He started, giving her that same smile he gave me. It stung slightly as I watched another girl receive that award winning smile. But I gulped it back as hard as I could, returning to staring back down at my desk, just to avoid any more of it.

"Avery." She replied, sounding as though she added a flirty smile at the end.

Glancing up at him, he looked like he was daydreaming, deeply concentrated in thought. Then jumping up, looking as though a light bulb needed to appear above his head. "For now we'll just call you Av."

A pouty lower lip stuck out as she crossed her arms, "Thats not very creative."

"Well, as I said _for now_ we'll just call you Av. Just wait for a couple of months to take their course, I'm sure we'll have one for all of you by then." He claimed, his eyes meeting mine with a wink. A wink that made my heart skip a beat. A wink that forced me to look directly down at my desk, mainly because I was turning tomato red.

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A/N: So this is my first attempt at a student-teacher type story for the Joker and Harley. I had a difficult time figuring out a first name for the Joker, since I wanted Harley to call him Mistah J, so in honor of Heath Ledger, I named him Heath Joker. It sounds rough, but seemed totally right. Please tell me what you think of this story-line so far and if you would like me to continue :)


	2. Chapter 2: Border Line - Mr J

Disclaimer: I do not own Harley Quinn or the Joker.

A/N: So I've been debating whether or not this should be a high school setting or college setting. Either way it would drive the whole 'you cannot date your teacher or he will be fired' thing. Not to mention, either way he would be a bit older than her. So I've decided to have you guys' inputs on the matter, would you guys like it to be a high school or college setting?

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Chapter 2 - Border Line

Joker

I sighed in exhaustion over today's events. Not only have I become a new teacher, but I have a total of six classes, one being after school. Then there was also the matter of a student of mine, she sat in the first row of my first class. She contained a rather composed manner and seemed to stay in her own lane when it came to social matters. She was socially awkward and disliked being the center of attention. Oh and, she was completely and utterly cute.

I don't know what I was thinking, teasing with her that much. Hopefully my students assumed I was simply trying to become the 'cool' teacher and decided to go with the girl who could quite possibly be the top of her class or, at the very least, close to the top. Judging by how serious she seemed to be throughout that period, she had to be somewhere along the lines of straight A student.

A pounding fist repeatedly came down on my apartment door, most likely already starting to annoy the others in the building as a voice bellowed from behind the door, "Hey Mr. Joker, how was class!"

I gave into a long sigh as I immediately recognized the voice, Jonny Frost. Despite being a good friend of mine, he was extremely obnoxious, although I suppose that is why we are good friends, we can both be very childish at times.

Opening up the door, I found myself greeted and then stormed passed as he made his way to the kitchen.

"You are way too comfortable here," I muttered to myself. Which he must've heard because he gave a thumbs up with a goofy smile that always meant he was up to no good.

He laid a pack of beers down on the counter-top and held up a bag of what I assumed was his favorite restaurants chicken, something that he was _way_ too obsessed with.

"We gotta celebrate this major accomplishment, I mean, you," He trailed off, making sure to point out my dozens of tattoos. "How did the system think that you as a teacher would be okay?"

I shrugged with a small sarcastic smile, "Maybe it is because they took a look at you and decided 'Oh hell no, lets go with the tatted guy.'"

He gave into a long and loud chuckle, resulting in a couple of annoyed kicks from above us. He finally settled down after hearing them and began to unpack our 'celebration' dinner. "But you have to tell me, any hotties?" He asked, nudging me with his elbow, a dirty look playing along his face.

I shook my head in disappointment, "That is not my job as a teacher to be looking at my students like a pervert. See this is why I got the job." I claimed, getting out some plates, handing him one and then preparing my own.

Jonny gave into a muffled laughter and then looked at me as though I was crazy, "I know you better than that."

And he did, it was a bad hobby of ours to 'admire' woman in public. Deciding which were the best curved, which proves, I am quite childish at times. Although, that isn't something that is more childish than it is guy's being idiots.

Finally, after only a couple seconds, I gave into my less than appropriate thoughts for a student of mine. "Ok, ok, but you have to promise not to tell anyone," I claimed, emphasizing my point on anyone.

"Listen, you can have me kill myself if I do," He joked and then gradually became more serious as I gave him a stern look. "Fine." He muttered under his breath.

"There is one girl that did catch my eye, she was cute," I trailed off and then decided to restate my wording, "she was beyond cute."

"Ooohh," He started gaining that goofy smile of his again, "So she was hot!"

I shook my head, "No, no, she was... _different_." I claimed, not knowing the words to describe how I felt seeing her for the first time.

It wasn't like other girls where I would simply say yay or nah to, easily categorizing them into groups of plain, simple, cute, or hot. She didn't fit into any of those categories, she was beyond cute, but she wasn't slutty hot. She was definitely not plain or simple, she seemed complex in the way she acted and I couldn't figure out what kind of things she liked. Normally a guy could guess, they would take one look at their clothes, the way they wore their hair or did their makeup, as well as some of the different types of items they had. But I simply couldn't figure out anything with her.

She was _special_.

"Different, hmm" Jonny purred in an inappropriate manner, "I've always enjoyed the different ones, they always come up with some of the most kinkiest of things in bed." He exclaimed and began to go into some details, but I cut him off before anything went beyond the point of 'We were just making out and then -'

The last thing I needed to do was to think of a student in this type of way, or be scared for life by Jonny's sex stories.

"Jonny shut up and drink, lord knows that's the soul reason you came up with this celebration party," I claim and give him that look that meant that I knew better than to listen to his lies.

He silently protests but finally gives in, "Alright, fine." He claimed and then gave his own little devilish smirk, "But admit it, you wanna get in her pants, don't ya?"

I give him a murderous glare, "No, but I bet you're wanting to. I mean, lets face it, you're a man whore." I muttered, laughing as he gives me that look as if I committed the ultimate betrayal.

"Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no." That same phrase came out of his mouth at least two more times and then he looked me dead in the eyes, "There is a difference between man whores and me," He claims, putting the palm of his hands on his chest and narrows his eyes, " _I_ am the guy who will actually put priorities straight before just getting into their pants."

"It still makes you a slut," I claimed in a joking manner.

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A/N: Hey guys! I really hoped that you like this chapter, I wanted to capture some of my Jokers more serious teacher attitude while still making him seem really playful. I hope you guys don't mind how I wrote Jonny and I apologize if you didn't like their 'guy talk'. Tell me what you think in the reviews ;) Speaking of which, 13 reviews for the first chapter, I love you guys! And I love it when you tell me that you love my stories u You guy's are the best and don't ya forget it!


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